The Incredible Inman: Dean Martin was a secret agent, but he was no James Bond
Question: There was a Christmas movie about a saleswoman who could choose a cologne or fragrance for her customers by asking what kinds of things they like. I collect Christmas movies but couldn't remember the title or any of the actors' names. I'd also like to know if it's on DVD.
Answer: That's the 1997 TV movie “The Christmas List,” with Mimi Rogers, Rob Stewart, Stella Stevens and — Marla Maples? There's a blast from the past — she was Mrs. Donald Trump at the time. Anyway, “The Christmas List” isn't on DVD.
Q: I saw a black and white movie where deceased animals were reincarnated as people. They were trying to find out who killed their master. I know one was a horse who came back as a woman. Can you tell me what movie this is and if it's available on DVD?
A: That's the 1951 film “You Never Can Tell,” with Dick Powell as Rex the reincarnated dog and Joyce Holden as Goldie, the reincarnated horse. It also stars Frank Nelson, the guy who used to say “YeeEEEEEssssss?” on “The Jack Benny Program,” as a cop. The movie is not on DVD.
Q: I loved the show “Saving Grace.” Where did it go? Why did it go? Is it coming back?
A: Sorry, “Saving Grace” wasn't renewed by TNT for a fourth season. Low ratings were cited as the reason.
Q: The late Ernest Borgnine once played coach Vince Lombardi in a TV movie and the resemblance was awesome. I can't locate this movie. Can you tell me the title and if it's on DVD?
A: That's the 1973 TV movie “Portrait: Legend in Granite.” It isn't on DVD, but clips are available online at youtube.
Q: What are the words to the theme from “The Big Bang Theory”? They sing it too fast for me to understand them.
A: Well, now you can sing along at home.
“Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!
“Since the dawn of man” is really not that long,
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.
A fraction of a second and the elements were made.
The bipeds stood up straight,
The dinosaurs all met their fate,
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
The oceans and pangaea
See ya wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang!
“It all started with the big BANG!
“It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will cause the stars to go the other way,
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be hurt
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang!
“Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy
It all started with the big bang!
“Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!
Q: My sister-in-law and I have a disagreement on Dean Martin appearing as James Bond in a movie or on a show. I say no and a dinner is riding on your answer!
A: Collect. Martin never played Bond. He did, however, play the James Bond-ish secret agent Matt Helm in several movies released in the 1960s.
Q: Can you provide the name of an old cartoon featuring a hyperactive verbose bat named Sniffles and his friend, a lethargic mouse, whose name I can not recall? I believe that they met in a barn which was also occupied by their nemesis, a cat. Whenever, I hear a fanatically fast speaker, I recollect that cartoon character. Also, is it available on DVD?
A: What you are remembering is the 1941 Warner Bros, cartoon “The Brave Little Bat.” In actuality, the mouse was named Sniffles, and the bat was named Batty. This was the first cartoon to feature Sniffles, and Batty was the chatty, verbose character. In subsequent cartoons, however, that quality was bestowed upon Sniffles. “The Brave Little Bat” can be viewed on youtube.
Q: I'm trying to find a movie from the 1980s where a college student ends up with an evil doll that causes him to become possessed by an evil Aztec spirit. Is it on DVD?
A: Sounds like the 1984 film “The Power,” with, um, nobody you ever heard of. But, if you insist — Susan Stokey, Warren Lincoln, Lisa Erickson.
Told you! And it isn't on DVD.
Write David Inman in care of The (Louisville, Ky.) Courier-Journal, 525 W. Broadway, P.O. Box 740031, Louisville, Ky. 40201-7431; or email him at incredibleinman@yahoo.com. Questions of general interest will be answered; personal replies are not possible.
