Mrs. Malaprop, a character in Richard Sheridan's play “The Rivals,” replaced familiar terms with similar-sounding words and phrases, often with hilarious results. Can you find 35 malapropisms in this character profile?
My eccentric uncle, Mal A. Prop, who likes to wear poke-a-dot ties, often has trouble with the Cadillac converter on his car.
His taste in food runs the gambit from cold slaw to caviar, though overeating gives him mind game headaches. He drinks only skin milk and avoids bread because he's black toast intolerant.
Mal is a successful investor, and many people in the doggy-dog world of business think he has a pack with the devil. He regards his fancy home as the whole mark of success.
The only flaw in the ointment is that he gets boggled down in the details of his transactions.
But, when he does lose money, he just chocks it up to experience and says, “My chickens have come home to roast.”
As a kid, Mal loved acting from the gecko. On stage, he doesn't curve his enthusiasm.
The fast majority of his roles have been wind nuts and laughing stalks, and he likes to tell antidotes about his mishaps on stage.
During the 1960s, Mal soaked his wild oats, but was often in high dungeon over social injustice.
When he got his dandruff up, he would sometimes ban together with others to ferment civil unrest and, in one fowl swoop, enact retribution on symbols of authority. He gives women short shift because he doesn't want to be at someone's beckon call. He says his philosophy is “Cease the day.”
When all is set and done, I don't take my uncle for granite. For all intensive purposes, he stays on the straight and arrow and is the goal standard of self-fulfillment.
Corrections:
1. polka dot
2. catalytic converter
3. runs the gamut
4. coleslaw
5. migraine headaches
6. skim milk
7. lactose intolerant
8. dog-eat-dog world
9. pact with the devil
10. hallmark of success
11. fly in the ointment
12. bogged down
13. chalks it up
14. home to roost
15. from the get-go
16. curb his enthusiasm
17. vast majority
18. wing nut
19. laughing stocks
20. tell anecdotes
21. sowed his wild oats
22. high dudgeon
23. dander up
24. band together
25. fomented civil unrest
26. one fell swoop
27. exact retribution
28. short shrift
29. beck and call
30. seize the day
31. all is said and done
32. for granted
33. all intents and purposes
34. straight and narrow
35. gold standard
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
