Quoting a (long) line from Shakespeare
Question: I am really bothered by the modern abbreviation “who's next,” as in “May I help who's next?” I take it to be a shortened form of “May I help the person who is next in line?” Does this abbreviation bother you? Why or why not? — Deborah Griesbach, Watertown, Conn.
Answer: Ah, yes. We all know this purgatory well: You're one of 10 customers standing in line at the coffee shop, pharmacy or bakery. You sigh, roll your eyes, check your cellphone, and wonder whether the person in front of you will present 18 coupons that need to be scanned, one by one, by the harried server or cashier.
And then the long-awaited summons of an angel invites one long-suffering purgatorian into heaven: “May I help who's next?”
Why does this sentence — which is, after all, a welcome sign of grinding progress, even to those at the end of the line — grate on our nerves?
There's a backstory here, so pull up a chair, especially if you're waiting in a line.
For centuries, English speakers commonly used “who” to mean “anyone who” or “whoever.” William Shakespeare did so, for instance, when he wrote, “I'll make a ghost of him who lets me,” (“Hamlet”) and “Let it be who it is” (“Julius Caesar”), which sounds surprisingly like the annoying contemporary cliche “It is what it is,” but we won't try to pin that one on you, Will.
As Geoffrey Pullum explains on his Language Log website, a construction that links “who” to an invisible but understood relative noun phrase (“⅛the person⅜ who)” is called a “fused relative” (which sounds like a fancy word for a stepbrother).
Anyway, for some reason, during the past century, this fused relative construction has faded from English and is now regarded as archaic. That's why it sounds so odd to our contemporary ears.
So, oddly, the harried cashiers who sound ungrammatical when they ask, “May I help who's next?” are actually reviving the language of Shakespeare.
Perhaps instead they should quote the Bard himself by saying, “Let it be who it is.” But a more practical solution would be to ask, “May I help whoever is next?”
And, yes, I know what you're thinking: Shouldn't it be “whomever is next”?
Uhh, let me think ... NO! “Whoever” is the subject of the clause “whoever is next,” so the nominative (“whoever”) is required. Because the entire clause functions as the direct object of “help,” there's no need for “whomever.”
More questions? I'll help whoever is next.
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
