Teen is so sick of guys ogling her, friends
Hey, Cherie!
Excuse me, but I am going to go on a rant here. I am so sick of guys ogling my friends and me!
I don't know what it is like in other parts of the country, but I live in a pretty big city. I had a summer internship at a museum, which was a pretty great thing. I got there by taking a bus and then walking about eight blocks to the museum.
I got to the point where I hated that walk. I know that I am good-looking by normal standards and am taller than average. But really, I did my best not to dress to impress. Most of the time, I wore jeans and a men's dress shirt, and I made sure that I always wore a bra.
It didn't matter. At least eight times on every walk to and from work, I would get ogled, whistled at and called to. You could probably say that my name was "Hey, Blondie!" instead of Caitlin. And that is one of the nicer things I heard. Some of them were really disgusting. With one of those guys, I turned around and yelled, "Hey, I'm just a junior in high school!" And he yelled back, "Hey, I'd like to break you in!"
I wanted to cry. When I talk to my friends about it, they say that they are having the same experiences as me. I know this is true, because it also happens to us when I am with girlfriends.
I know what I want to happen, which is for these guys to grow up and get a life, but I don't know how to get there. Maybe if parents read this, they can talk to their sons. Maybe if wives and girlfriends read this, they can talk to their guys. Maybe some guys will read it and realize what they think is funny actually is barf-inducing and idiotic. If you have any better ideas, I'd love to hear them.
— Caitlin
Hey, Caitlin!
I think the most important thing that I could do for you is to publish your letter and also say that you're not alone. It's sort of amazing to me that behavior that we would not permit in the schoolyard -- where there would be zero tolerance -- is put up with on public streets. Yes, guys have the right to say what they want in public. But just because you have the right to free speech doesn't make it right. And I would bet that any of those guys, when confronted with their behavior, would be embarrassed. And if they weren't, they'd be embarrassed if their wife, girlfriend or mother knew.
There are some who would advise you to take cell phone photographs of these guys and find a way to get them up online. I'm not going to advise that, since I don't want you to put yourself in a situation of greater risk. However, there might be some situations where there is no risk in taking a picture, and I can tell you that if you search online for blogs about catcalling, there are plenty of opportunities to post such pictures.
Be careful, though. There can be legal consequences if you post the photo of the wrong guy.
Hey, Cherie!
If you had to choose between dressing to impress or dressing down for the first day of school, which would you choose⢠I am starting ninth grade in about two weeks.
— First-Day Jitters
Hey, First!
I would dress in something comfortable that is not going to make me stand out. There's time to stand out on the second or third day. Good tip: If you have a good friend, wear similar kinds of clothes. That way, you will not be alone.
