A former intern’s guide to office etiquette

When you're an intern, there are certain things you shouldn't do at work.

For example -- contesting negative eBay feedback, taking two-hour personal phone calls or, say, cross-stitching a sampler that says "Bite me."

It was my first internship, at a magazine publishing company. There I was, sitting cross-legged in my cramped cube, minding my own business, when a man in a suit did a double take at my needlework as he was walking past.

Then I remembered having heard something about one of the top dudes in the food chain being in the office for the afternoon.

A few minutes later, one of my editors called me into a conference room and closed the door. "I got a call from the CIO asking what my intern was doing," she said. "What are you doing?"

Well, the crafting was actually for a story for another editor. So she was spared having to explain why, exactly, they were paying someone $8.75 an hour to single-handedly bring back the needle arts.

Now, this is the first summer I've ever worked in a department with interns where I haven't been the intern. Having recently been in their shoes, I feel for their plight. They aren't permanent employees, but often, they've got the same duties as somebody with a 401(k) and a plum salary.

And sometimes they're tossed in without a lot of preparation, so here are my key rules of intern etiquette:

&#149 Don't act like you're above grunt work. Last week, in Beaver County, when flooding ravaged the town of Aliquippa, the volunteer-run Uncommon Grounds Cafe lost all its stock. The Trib ran a photo of -- who else• -- the intern hosing off mud from all the dishes. And while you shouldn't be the coffee fetcher all summer, if you do volunteer to pick up lunch now and then, you'll make a lot of friends.

&#149 Try the humble pie. I know, you know everything, but if you act like it, getting that end-of-summer recommendation might be difficult.

&#149 Don't get involved with anyone you work with, especially people who are in charge of you. There is no way it will actually stay on the DL, so don't act all surprised when people start calling you Monica.

&#149 Talk to everybody. Getting to know your supervisor is an obvious Do. But if your internship has introduced you to a field you see yourself thriving in, get the scoop from everybody. Dishing with the young people who work at the company will give you a perspective the suits can't.

That being said, I'm out -- I'm getting lunch with some interns.