Men love the image of a woman in a silky lace slip.

But the minute these guys step foot inside a lingerie shop to make a Valentine’s day purchase, they might lose that attraction. Embarrassed and self-conscious, men’s stress levels rise in this unfamiliar territory.

“Buying lingerie is the souffle of the relationship,” says Susan Cernek, senior fashion and beauty editor for Glamour.com . “If you don’t get it right, it can implode on you. Lingerie brings up what you think of her, and if it is too much, she will think it’s all about sex.”

It’s the thought that counts, but you need to consider the recipient’s thoughts, too. Buy something in a size too big, and her thought is: “Do you really think I’m that fat?” If it’s too small, she might be upset she can’t wear it, Cernek says.

So do your homework, fellas.

If it’s your first lingerie purchase, you might want to start with a satin or lace-trim slip. They come in sizes from extra small on up.

Another option is a lingerie gift card. Embellish it with a datebook. Circle a day when she can spend the gift card and another day when she can model her purchase for you. Pair it with her favorite perfume or lotion, which shows you put some thought into it, Cernek says.

The best gauge to when it’s time to buy lingerie is based on how comfortable the man feels in the relationship. Do you know your woman well enough to choose something she might like?

Even in a long-term relationship, things can go wrong, says Gail Gross, owner of The Pussycat in Squirrel Hill. She recalls a man who came in looking for a bra-and-panty set for his wife. He brought in one of her bras to ensure he’d choose the right size.

What he failed to notice was that it was one she wore when she was pregnant, so it was way too big.

“That didn’t go over too well,” Gross says. “He thought he was doing the right thing. He never came back. He never really recovered from that. My advice is to look for one of her newer bras or the one she just took off, and you will find the correct size. You really have to pay attention to what you are doing.”

Nothing says “You’re sleeping alone tonight” than when a man buys the wrong size lingerie, says Kristen Saladino, fashion editor for Self. Choose something in a soft, muted color such as pale pink or pistachio. Lingerie can be comfortable, too.

Check out model Elle Macpherson’s line, which is pretty, romantic, well-made and comfortable, she says.

Always keep in mind the personality of that special woman in your life, says Elizabeth Kanfer, Saks Fifth Avenue’s fashion market director, women’s accessories. If the gift recipient is flirty, a lace tank and boy short would excite her, she says. However, if she likes to cuddle up, a cashmere robe would be the perfect gift.

If the relationship is new, a lace chemise and matching wrap is appropriate, Kanfer says. Lace details are a very important trend, especially in foundations and loungewear.

A colored bra-and-panty set is a great way to add variety.

Try the Retro Lace Slip, which comes in small, medium and large, or the “One Size Fits All” Satin Wraps, says Monica Mitro, executive vice president of public relations for Victoria’s Secret.

“Victoria’s Secret is also offering gift-card personalization in select stores across the country,” Mitro says. “You can personalize a gift card free with a cute saying or your sweetheart’s name. It adds that special personal touch every woman wants.”

If your sweetheart shops regularly at a specialty store, her measurements most likely will be on file.

You never can go wrong with a black lace nightgown or robe. It is a classic look and not as risky as bra-and-panty sets, says Ilene Levy, owner of Cheeks in Shadyside.

Gifts don’t have to be strictly red and pink. There are many nice prints and cool colors. Because this is a personal kind of holiday, men make a point to go out and buy something that is thoughtful.

“We have a really good time when men come in,” Levy says. “It is really nice to see them want to put some effort into a gift for their significant other. They are doing more than the candy-and-flower present.”

Men need to be more creative, says Tom Reese, from Pittsburgh, shopping at The Pussycat.

“It helps to shop at a place like this one, because the people here are knowledgeable, and the prices are reasonable, and there are some really nice things here,” he says. “I am not intimidated. This is fun.”

Having a knowledgeable salesperson helps alleviate some of the stress, Levy says. Many shops also will gift-wrap the present for you. Gross has solid-black bags so guys don’t have to carry a purple bag emblazoned with the word “Pussycat.”

“Lingerie is still a very magical gift,” says Sandra Kaplan, retail director for lingerie for Nordstrom Department Stores. “It is always romantic, and I applaud the men who come in looking for that special item. I try to compare it to football. The salesperson is the quarterback who will lead them through the selection of merchandise.”

Choosing the item can be stressful especially when time is running out says, Dr. Paul Friday, chief of clinical psychology at UPMC Shadyside. Stores such as Victoria’s Secret are good at pre-packaging gifts, which allows a man to go in, buy, and leave.

“Women shop, and men buy,” Friday says. “This is a time to show you care and not a time when a man can say, ‘Here, take my credit card and pick out something you want.’ They have to do it, and it can be overwhelming. Because it’s not a place where they are comfortable.”

Additional Information:

Lingerie shopping tips

• The hottest-selling gifts are bra-and-panty sets, novelty panties, dressy sleepwear and fragrance gift sets.

• Women tend to enjoy gifts they might not normally purchase for themselves, such as luxurious robes, sexy baby dolls, bra-and-panty sets and fragrance sets.

• In terms of sizing, men should try to do some investigative work before they shop. Even a dress or blouse size will help narrow down a lingerie size. If that’s not possible, simply try to define sizes as small, medium or large. As a last resort, they can simply point out an associate who might be a similar size.

Source: Victoria’s Secret

---

Copyright ©2026— Trib Total Media, LLC (TribLIVE.com)

---