So, there’s a new Bond in town. Daniel Craig (“Layer Cake,” “Road to Perdition”), an excellent but relatively unknown English actor, will be the new Bond in “Casino Royale.” When it was announced that he got the gig, controversy among Bond purists was intense. The battle lines were drawn, with Craig partisans gathering at www.craigasbond.com and www.danielcraigisnotbond.com , the latter depicting a tombstone that reads “R.I.P. James Bond.” The first site links to positive reviews, but the second gets downright nasty — comparing his looks to Gollum from “Lord of the Rings” and Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman. The risks for Craig are great. Becoming James Bond is probably career suicide if he ever wants to do anything else — can you think of any non-Bond movies starring Timothy Dalton or Roger Moore• And even though Pierce Brosnan gets other roles, they often seem like variations on his Bond character, like in “The Tailor of Panama” and “The Affair of the Necklace.” But then there’s the anomaly, Sean Connery, so who knows• Maybe Craig is the next Connery. So just for curiosity’s sake, we’re going to play “Connect the Bonds,” to see what Craig has to live up — or down — to, in order of best to worst: The New Bond: Daniel Craig He’s kind of like Christian Bale — though more repressed, with better diction — with cold ice-blue eyes and wispy blonde hair. In “Layer Cake,” Daniel Craig was a coke dealer who thinks he can get out ahead of the game, but finds he’s just another layer in the cake. Other notable roles: Paul Newman’s screw-loose gangster son in “Road to Perdition,” an assassin in “Munich,” as poet/bon vivant Ted Hughes in “Sylvia,” and as a convicted murder in the current “Infamous.” The Ex-Bonds — in order of brilliance 1. Sean Connery. He set the standard, he wrote the rules, he was the lucky one, because he got to do it first, and everyone else had to try to be him. Tough luck, lads. Some silly villains and low, low, low-tech productions conspired to make him look bad, but failed. Since he had a long, fruitful, tuxedo-less career after Bond, he must be considered the best. His Bond films include “Dr. No” (1962), “From Russia With Love,” (1963). 2. George Lazenby. The wild-card Bond. This obscure Australian male model came out of nowhere to anchor perhaps the best Bond film ever, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” (1969). Then, like a good spy, he pretty much disappeared. 3. Roger Moore. Elegant, intelligent, deadpan with the quip or the gun. Had some great Bonds, but stayed on the shelves way past his expiration date, till he started to look like Bond in drag. Moore played Bond in films including “Live and Let Die” (1973), “The Spy Who Loved Me” (1977), “A View to a Kill” (1985). 4. Pierce Brosnan. With a smirk and a twinkle in his eye, he brought back some of the leering sexuality of Connery’s Bond. But the character’s novelty sort of wore off by the time he got around to it, and his films mostly just look like generic action movies. His Bond films include “GoldenEye” (1995) and “Die Another Day” (2002). 5. Timothy Dalton. Bringing up the rear, the forgotten Bond had great ’80s hair, but that’s about it. What was Her Majesty thinking• He starred in films including “The Living Daylights” (1987) and “License to Kill,” (1989). The Coulda-Bonds, Shoulda-Bonds Clive Owen: Smart, brooding, very English, looks good in a tuxedo. Jude Law: Smart, English, looks good in a tuxedo, accomplished philanderer, convincingly played a sniper in “Enemy at the Gates.” But he’s probably already too big for the role. Ewan McGregor: Smart, Scottish (!), handy with hi-tech (“Star Wars”) weapons. Rumored to be thought too short (at 5″10) for Bond. Hugh Jackman: Does the gritty, hirsute Wolverine clean up well enough to exhibit Bond’s requisite polish• We may never know… Alternate-Universe Bonds Old Bond: Michael Caine. Probably should have been considered for the gig on the first or second go-round. Better late than never. I wonder if the Golden Girls could be his Bond girls• Black Bond: P. Diddy. No, this is real — Diddy really feels an affinity with this high-rolling emissary of the English establishment and told reporters last week he’d like to play 007. Could there be a Black Bond• Don’t see why not. Should it be this guy• Umm…no. Blonde Bond: Matthew McConaughey. Okay, Craig is blonde too, but this guy is really blonde. He’s almost the Gold Bond. The Anti-Bond: Philip Seymour Hoffman. Could there be anyone less Bond-like than this soft, doughy American doofus• Precisely why he’s perfect… Learning to be Bond If you could bottle and sell the coolness of James Bond, you’d be set for life. Then again, if it was that was easy, there’d be a million James Bonds. But that hasn’t stopped lifelong Bond fanatic Paul Kyriazi. This Pittsburg, Calif.-based author and action movie director (“Omega Cop,” “One Way Out”) has put together a book and a seminar titled “The Complete James Bond Lifestyle: A Serious Course to Upgrade Your Life.” His Bond obsession started when he was in high school, when “Dr. No” (1962) came out. And with Bond’s help, Kyriazi has found a way to illustrate a self-help program — promoted on his Web site www.bondlife.com — in terms that guys can actually understand. His book jacket promises pointers on re-inventing yourself through appearance, personality and “Your Bond Car,” and offers advice on avoiding villains and the secrets of women. He presents these seminars all over the country, and takes this stuff deadly serious. There are a few simple tenets to the Bond lifestyle that are in the realm of possibility for the average guy — meaning you don’t need a tricked-out Aston Martin with ejection seats to be Bond. “He’s a man of action, like all action heroes. But he’s also a man of prosperity and leisure. He’s in a luxury hotel or on the golf course, living this high life. The other heroes — Rocky’s in an old apartment, Rambo’s in prison or on a China mountaintop fighting for a bowl of rice. “He’s a civil servant but he lives this great lifestyle. It’s the money, the lifestyle, the travel, the hotels, the exotic locations, and, of course, the women.” A sampling of his secrets:

Look the part “Leather shoes and pants instead of shorts. A long-sleeved dress shirt. Look sharp. A smoother walk and good posture. … Say you’re in a shopping mall. Walk through there as if your ex-girlfriend can see you from afar. How would you like her to see you• Looking good, prosperous — or slow, with your head down and bad clothes?” Always carry cash. That way you’re ready to go at a moment’s notice — to dinner, or an adventure. James Bond doesn’t waste time looking around for an ATM. Carrying cash gives you a psychological boost, too. “The actor George Hamilton, when he was a young man, had to play the part of a rich man,” Kyriazi says. “He asked the director ‘How do I act rich?’ The director said, ‘Go to the bank, pull out $5,000 and put it in your front pocket.’ In the movie, he never pulled out the cash, but he felt it. If you carry $500 or $700, it’s going to change you.” Stay calm and know what you’re talking about. Bond’s coolly unflappable demeanor is a major part of the equation. “When you’re in a tense situation, ask yourself, ‘What would Bond do?'” Kyriazi says. “You don’t panic, yell and scream. You take control of your emotions. When people get squeezed, they either fold or they focus, like Bond.” And maybe it’s cool to act stupid if you’re on “Jackass” or in Congress — but Bond would never stand for it. “Every time his boss, M, asks him about something, he knows a lot. He’s well educated. Constant education — one of the rules of the James Bond lifestyle is that you read a book a week.” “The Complete James Bond Lifestyle,” we are to assume, is the book he prefers you to start with.

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