A few years back, I worked with Planned Parenthood of Western Pennsylvania on a project known as "Baby, Think it Over."
The program involved lifelike baby dolls who were programmed, just like real infants, to cry up a storm every so often. Not having any kids of my own, I figured it would be a real scream -- pardon the pun -- to cart one of the little plastic machines around in a realistic-looking bassinet for a few days to see how the other half lived.
While plugging an electronic card into the wailing doll's back proved far easier than changing wet diapers, I was most amazed at the sense of camaraderie and pride displayed by other men. After a few hours, it dawned on me the smiles and thumbs-up afforded me by men of all races had less to do with my being a father and most to do with being a black man who appeared to be actively involved with his offspring.
There. I said it.
And if you're the type of black man who coaches Little League baseball or mentors children, there's no need to phone in accusing me of selling out. But let's face it -- there is a crisis in our community, and its roots can be traced directly to a lack of men spending time with their kids.
This problem has been on a lot of lips since the weekend, when presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama spoke before a mostly black congregation at the Apostolic Church of God in his home turf of Chicago.
Obama accused black men of being "missing from too many lives," prompting perhaps the first controversy of his campaign that is based in reality.
Unfortunately, this time it won't be the hacks at Fox News who will lambaste Obama 24/7. No, I fear it's going to be traditional black "leaders" who will form the chorus of dissent, and it's not hard to understand why.
Few people in the black community will hold our men's feet to the fire for their part in creating an out-of-wedlock birth rate that a 2005 study by the National Center for Health Statistics pegged at nearly 70 percent.
Back when I carted around that crying baby doll, I remember noticing -- perhaps for the first time -- how rare it is to see black men, particularly young black men, pushing strollers or appearing in public with their children.
To say so is to be accused of being an Uncle Tom, or worse. We've developed some thick skins after 400 years in this country, but we still haven't come to accept certain obvious criticisms.
I recently read about a similar incident involving Newark's black mayor, Cory Booker, who was warned by an adviser not to tell his black constituents that picking up garbage is their responsibility, not that of the white man.
Obama, who has taken a lot of political risks in the past, just took another. But this time, it's one that everyone -- black or white, parent or not -- should applaud.
