So Britney Spears is supposed to be a high school nerd and virgin, a valedictorian who also can belt out a tune while writhing around in her underwear - and, oh yeah, diagnose a busted radiator in a classic muscle car. Not even her fans will buy that. "Crossroads" makes a half-hearted attempt at pretending to be a movie about friendship and so many serious topics - parental abandonment, teen pregnancy, underage drinking - even rape. But all of this is just an excuse to watch the story of Spears' "Lucy," who doesn't want to become a doctor, as her father (Dan Aykroyd) wishes. Of course, she wants to become a singer. And the movie blazes past these serious issues with hardly a blink in its effort to get to plot points allowing the "geeky" Britney a chance to take off half her clothes and dance around. The story is that of Lucy and her girlhood friends Kit (Zoe Saldana) and Mimi (Taryn Manning), who all have their own reasons for wanting to head west. Spoiled and popular Kit wants to be close to her fiance, who's been doing a great job up to now of completely avoiding her. Pregnant Mimi wants to head to Los Angeles so she can audition for a career in music. And Lucy wants to stop in Arizona to find her mother (Kim Cattrall), who left 3-year-old Lucy years ago and hasn't been in contact since. They hitch a ride with Ben (Anson Mount), the hunky guy who might or might not be a convicted killer. And eventually, Lucy decides this is the man she will lose her virginity with. Their love scene consists of kissing in a hotel room which cuts away to - I'm not joking - a scene of waves pounding on the beach. While teen-age boys would undoubtedly love the sight of a scantily clad Britney prancing around, they really aren't the target audience. And Britney's legion of fans - mostly pre-teen girls - aren't old enough to understand the complex issues that are rushed onto the screen and just as hurriedly yanked off. Even if they are more mature than the usual 10-year-old, such casual treatment of adult issues could be confusing. For any of Britney's older fans, this film is mostly a joke. The audience that watched a preview screening this week was sprinkled with older teen girls snickering at many of the supposed "serious" moments. Parents should take the PG-13 rating seriously, and Britney Spears ought to take a serious look at her film choices - if she gets any more after "Crossroads."

'Crossroads'

Director: Tamra Davis Stars: Britney Spears MPAA Rating: PG-13, for sexual content and brief teen drinking

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