Burgatory is naughty-good food
Burgatory's slogan says it all: they make a "helluva burger" and "heavenly shakes."
Dieters beware: Prepare to spend some serious time repenting before the nutrition gods after eating here.
The Lunch Bunch crew almost didn't notice this new burger joint, because it's stashed away in a corner of The Waterworks shopping center, near Aspinwall. But now that we found it, we'll definitely be back -- there are at least eight more specialty milkshakes we didn't get to try.
Burgatory offers a minimalist bar atmosphere that's still family-friendly; several groups with children stopped by while we were there. Red walls with signs of "Blessed be the burgers" and "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's shake" provide a backdrop for metal tables and chairs and matte-black booths.
An outdoor patio is covered with heavy-duty plastic during cold weather and offers a year-round view of passersby; wicked space heaters that could be used in a sci-fi movie kept the restaurant toasty warm.
Although burgers are the star of the show here, there are enough salads, sandwiches, entrees and other options for those who avoid red meat. All burgers can be made with chicken, and there is a vegan veggie-burger available.
We began with the Six Napkin Nachos ($8.50), which lived up to its name. The large plate of tortilla chips was smothered with chicken chili, poblano peppers, jack and cheddar cheeses, sour cream and guacamole.
Rather than select one of the menu burgers, we pulled out the Custom Creations notepad that allows you to create your own sandwich.
The base cost depends on the type of meat you pick: $7 for hormone-free beef or all-natural chicken, $10 for organic bison or lump crab. Then you select your bread, spice rub, sauces and toppings that are included in the base price.
One of the eight cheese options will cost you another buck, as will select toppings like a fried egg, bacon, avocado, sauteed mushrooms or grilled pineapple.
The result for us was two huge, juicy burgers -- one beef, one bison, both with a cracked peppercorn rub that provided a kick. Spicy ketchup added welcome heat to one of the burgers, while buttermilk ranch and guacamole turned out to be less appealing than expected on another.
Both were served with excellent in-house made chips -- a mix of lightly salted russet potatoes and lightly sugared sweet potatoes. Not anticipating how awesome the chips would be, we ordered a plate of House-Cut Fries ($3.50) that were thin-cut and well-seasoned with rosemary and thyme.
One diner tried the Hot Chick ($8.50), a sandwich with grilled chicken, focaccia bread and tomatoes, provolone cheese, guacamole, chipotle sour cream and cilantro. It was served with a side of greens dressed in a delicious vinaigrette dressing.
The Sonoma Grilled Chicken Salad ($11) featured a ton of fresh baby spinach topped with grilled chicken, Gouda cheese, apple-smoked bacon, roasted corn and housemade croutons. It was lightly dressed with vinaigrette.
And then there were the thick, creamy milkshakes. Our advice: order them for dessert, because you'll suck one down so fast you'll be full before the burgers arrive.
The Caramel Pretzel ($5.50) offered the perfect combination of salty and sweet, while the PB&J ($5.50) tasted better than any peanut butter and jelly sandwich we ever had as children. Burgatory also offers several "hard" shakes combined with liquor, or plain old vanilla, chocolate or strawberry for the less adventurous.
Address: The Waterworks, 932 Freeport Road, Pittsburgh, near Aspinwall
Phone: 412-781-1456
Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Sundays-Thursdays; 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Fridays
Handicapped accessible: Yes
