Most guys would agree that it stinks when your town earns a mediocre rating in a survey headlined “The Limpest Cities.” Men’s Health magazine recently looked at factors such as reported sales of Viagra to judge 101 cities on, um, male performance. Bad news, fellas. If amorous activities were like college football, the ‘Burgh would be lucky to get a bid to one of the smaller bowl games. The editors ranked Pittsburgh 63rd. That gave us a “C,” and that isn’t a very good grade. Especially in such an important subject. That left Pittsburgh on the same level with Philadelphia. Well, at least we don’t have to listen to taunts from the cheesesteak-eaters. But it’s just a notch above the C-minus Tampa and St. Petersburg earned. When in any kind of comparison, much less this one, you’re just edging out a crowd of guys with walkers and hearing aids, that’s sad. The top-rated city was San Francisco. One might say they’re playing in a different league, but, still … Boulder and Denver also earned A+ ratings. Pittsburgh guys may have to take up skiing. There are, however, no helpful trends from the rest of the list. Some of the A cities are dedicated to hedonistic delight, such as San Diego and New York. But cities where men evidently keep up high standards include dumps such as Bakersfield, Calif., and Boise, Idaho. Does the warm weather heat up libidos• Men’s Health ranked Honolulu and Buffalo at the same level. Is it hipness• It can’t be: Omaha finished ahead of Seattle. A lack of inhibitions• Nope — men in Des Moines apparently have more stories to tell than the guys in Las Vegas, which may be one reason why what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Of the bottom 14 cities, 11 were in the South. Maybe there’s something in the barbecue sauce. Or maybe yelling “Yee-haw!” strains a guy’s physique more than you might think. But we have one consolation: Pittsburgh finished a dozen spots ahead of Cleveland. Let’s focus on that, and not on what this news might do to our town’s historic nickname — The Steel City. Somehow The Overcooked Noodle City doesn’t have the same pizzazz.

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