Clinton still selling snake oil

WASHINGTON - Think back, if you will, to grade school, when you were first introduced to the game called King of the Hill, wherein some kid would proclaim, "I am your leader," and would remain so until another knocked him down and took the "kingdom."

Time passes; lessons are learned. For most of us, the lessons of leadership are about acquiring proper skills, especially prior to claiming such positions. Others learn little beyond persistence, spinning a good line and the awareness that some idiots will think they're cute. They go into politics. Then, when they say "I am your leader," it is accepted and even paid for by people who buy into their leaders' pipe dream.

This is the legend of Bill Clinton, who kept saying "I am your leader" until he became president of the United States and left the country on the brink of disaster.

Now, those who elected Bill are beginning to wise up. Nowhere was this more evident than at the annual Christmas parade in Little Rock, where Clinton was not asked to lead. The honor of grand marshal of the parade went instead to a worthier creature that never wanted to lead anything but the good life: Socks, the 11-year-old cat that was a part of the Clinton family props while they lived in the White House. Socks now lives quietly in Washington, twitching in his dreams at words such as "Monica" and "Gennifer," although he never strayed. And unlike Bill, Socks, the supreme insider of two presidential administrations, was properly fixed and never desperate for legacy.

Clinton's legacy-seeker has been in high gear not only for himself but for the Democratic Party. Two years ago he led them to political defeat, successfully placing all the blame on Al Gore. Still chasing that legacy, last month Bill was back at the polls, campaigning tirelessly, and in a frenzy raising money by the bucket — for himself as much as for his fellow Democrats. This time his efforts helped move the balance of power to the Republicans.

Judge for yourself whether Bill understands the election results. At a gathering of the Democratic Leadership Conference, an organization he helped form in 1985 to advance the ideas of the socialist elite in Europe, he said, "Well, we sort of lost in 2000, but we really did lose in 2002. I don't want to talk about the past because politics is best understood through the prism of the future."

During that speech — his latest bid for the spotlight — he bent the attendees' ears for two hours in a rambling that can be summed up as, "So we lost the elections. Big deal! Compared to the sacrifices others have made to be agents of constructive change, so what• So I say, take a deep breath. Decide what you believe. Rear back and go on!"

This, by the way, is standard Clinton no-fault-don't-blame-me philosophy.

'TROUGH SWILLERS'

The new Democrats were there — Sens. Evan Bayh of Indiana and Tom Carper of Delaware, Reps. Greg Meeks of New York, Ellen Tauscher of California and a congressman-in-waiting from Chicago, the rather strange Rahm Emmanuel. The trough swillers were well represented by Bill's oldest friend, Mack McLarty, the czar of Latin American deals.

From hearing the Clinton speech, it was all too obvious that while he abdicated the Little Rock parade to Socks, he has no intention of leaving presidential politics. He pointed to the help he had given to re-elect Sen. Mary Landrieu in Louisiana and took credit for her strategy on homeland security. In an oversimplification of the issues, he argued that "you can reorganize all you want," and spoke about the need to protect not only tunnels, bridges and water systems but even more the "first responders," such as police, fire and emergency staff, with equipment.

Then he placed foot firmly in mouth with "that's a homeland security issue that matters a lot more than where the bureaucratic boxes of money are … and it would have made a difference in some of the election races!"

Immediately realizing he had hit a wrong note — and with typical Clinton cunning — he recovered with, "But it's not important for political reasons, it's important because people's lives are at stake. … We'll prevail if we stay together and advocate it!"

CONVENIENT OMISSIONS

Of course, he never mentioned that his very own Democrats tied up legislation on homeland security for seven months to please the thugs in the AFL-CIO and deny the Bush administration the necessary flexibility. But then, Clinton never was big on reality.

It was a blatantly political — albeit denial-laden — speech. There was a Clinton twist to everything from Medicare and welfare programs to foreign policy and energy plan for the Caspian Sea to the giving of accolades to Bill Gates for his philanthropy. He had something for everyone in his bag of tricks — if only they were simple enough to believe what they were hearing.

Toward the end of his speech, Clinton itemized the Democratic wish list: "a world with more friends and fewer enemies, cooperation through the U.N., the World Trade Organization, signing the Kyoto treaty related to climate change, a comprehensive nuclear test ban including biological weapons." And then the former draft dodger asserted that an international criminal court would present no threat to our soldiers.

Finally, Clinton fantasized aloud how the Democrats could return to power, saying he wants to initiate dialogues with conservatives across America, who believe in conservative family values but are not, as he slyly put it, "operationally progressive."

That is called a wedge — and it's how people are seduced toward one side. For instance, the Brady Bill on gun control does not affect people who are pro-choice, so one or the other can be swayed into voting Democrat. Rights for homosexuals, according to Bill, are in the best American tradition and "have nothing to do with religious or personal convictions." Ergo, more Democrat votes. As Clinton said, "a genuine organized disciplined dialogue" will bring about a Democrat victory.

So says the self-proclaimed King of the Heap, who sits alone fabricate legends, unaware that his parade — with Socks leading the way — has already passed him by.

Dateline D.C. is written by a Washington-based British journalist and political observer.