One of my friends was widowed after a long marriage. Now after four years, she’s ready to start dating. The prospect is daunting, though. The last time she dated, the world was different. She’s not sure how to act anymore. People in similar situations are getting advice from dating coaches. Their clientele also includes business types who spent their 20s and 30s making money. They’re ready to settle down now, but they don’t have a clue how to behave. The dating coach dishes out advice not only on how to act, but on what to wear and what to say. Some even give advice on how long to talk on the phone before you meet and the length of the first date. The service can be expensive — $100-plus an hour — so a word of caution is in order. First, be realistic about the outcome. There’s no guarantee you’ll find the Perfect Mate or even land a decent date. A better approach might be to just have fun and enjoy the experience of meeting new people. Screen the coach before signing on. Different ones are better at giving out certain types of advice. For example, if you need a refresher course on table manners, you want a coach who knows the routine. If you’re socially conservative, you would probably be more comfortable with a coach who shares your values. Dating coaches don’t need credentials to hang out a shingle. Check references and ask questions. What, if anything, disappointed you about the coach• Was it worth the cost, and if so, why? Check the small print on your contract. If you are dissatisfied with the service, do you get additional coaching or a rebate• Finally, check the Web. The Internet is a treasure trove of dating tips. Maybe what you need to know is already at your fingertips.

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