Five Guys brings famed burgers to Oakland

Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries -- a Northern Virginia chain with a location in Oakland -- has a reputation for excellent burgers.

See, it says they're "Famous," right there on the sign. If that's not good enough for you, there are the breathless blurbs and quotes plastered on the walls, the menus and virtually every flat surface in the restaurant, from publications as esteemed as ZAGAT to those as obscure as something called the Washington Flyer. Actually the burger joint's entire decor is press clippings over a white-and-red checkerboard pattern.

Wow, these are some really insecure burgers.

I know I shouldn't fault Five Guys for keeping the blurb-writers in business, considering I'm sort of one of them. But I can't help thinking that if you simply build a better burger, the world will beat a path to your door. Maybe they're just trying to psych themselves up to do battle with the legendary "Dirty O" next door.

Sure, the burgers are good. It's a little refreshing to see a place that doesn't try to push quesadillas or salad shooters or whatever the geniuses in Marketing say is selling this year.

At Five Guys, it's just burgers, fries and hot dogs.

The Bacon Cheeseburger ($4.49) is plenty good. Five Guys delivers hand-shaped patties of good-quality beef in a manageable size at a reasonable price. Unfortunately, it's topped with "American cheese" -- the kind of ultra-processed, glowing-yellow goo that would be considered an act of war if sold in Italy.

All toppings are free, so I picked two favorites that rarely get combined by any sensible sandwich shop -- BBQ sauce and pickles. But any of a dozen others could have been piled on at no extra charge. It's all clamped in a standard white-flour hamburger bun, a big reason burgers are usually considered junk food.

My vegetarian wife had to settle for a Veggie ($2.49), which, surprisingly, wasn't a veggie burger. It was basically a condiment sandwich -- or, at least, a topping sandwich. The mushrooms were sauteed, and all the veggies were reasonably fresh. The jalapenos were not cooked.

Five Guys Style Famous Fries ($1.99-$3.79), served in a styrofoam cup, were very good. They're freshly hand-cut -- giant potato sacks in the middle of the floor underscore the point. They're a mid-sized thickness with a deliciously crunchy exterior and surprisingly little grease.

The Cajun Style Famous Fries ($1.99-$3.79) have a mild spicy seasoning, which, again, doesn't overcompensate with salt. My wife thinks they're the equal of Kennywood's Potato Patch Fries, although I'm hesitant to print such blasphemy.

Everything is served in a grease-flecked brown paper bag instead of on a tray, even if you're eating in.

Five Guys is fine and should do well in busy Oakland. But I can't help wishing California's immortal In-N-Out Burger would take a hint and get out here. Additional Information:

Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries

Hours: 11 a.m.-10 p.m. daily

Address: 117 S. Bouquet St., Oakland

Phone: 412-802-7100