I know a drunk, a drug addict and a compulsive overeater. Call her "Elizabeth."
Her story may help you understand why she doesn't use her real name. Before you make your New Year's resolutions, you may want to read about her guilt, remorse and shame.
She used to make resolutions: about sipping only so many drinks, swallowing only so many pills or shedding so much weight. Now she's resolute about taking life just one day at a time.
(Yes, dear reader, today's column will have a positive, life-affirming ending and maybe — just maybe — offer hope for that certain someone who wants a new year filled with inner peace instead of alcohol, barbiturates or chow from all-you-can-eat salad bars.)
"Elizabeth" clearly remembers chocolate milk was her favorite kindergarten snack, even though she cannot remember her teacher's name.
She also remembers sucking down ice cream and popsicles after her tonsils were removed — and fighting with Mom about buying "chubbies," the only clothes that fit the oversized first grader.
Who could've guessed back then that when "Elizabeth" was pregnant, she'd barely fit into plus-size maternity clothes⢠(Her "eating for two" quickly became eating for 10.)
She was an overweight 12-year-old the first time she got drunk. There were just a few six-packs at the slumber party, so she reasoned she had to drink beer as fast as she could since there wasn't enough for all her friends.
In 1972, she was arrested for growing pot. And, yes, she remembers jail food — salami and ketchup on rye. And an orange drink to flush it down.
She reached 200 pounds by the time she was in college. Being a natural multi-tasker, she was able to graze in the school cafeteria while doing pot, gin or 15-cent drafts everywhere else.
And then she discovered amphetamines — her personal wonder drug that supposedly would curb her appetite and help her pretend to be sober the morning after.
"Elizabeth's" psychology degree and years of addiction to numerous substances were ideal credentials for her profession — drug and alcohol counseling. (Well… maybe not exactly "ideal," since she had not let go of her addictions.)
Out of professional curiosity, she attended her first 12-step meeting.
Alcoholics Anonymous helped her realize alcohol was the cause — not the cure. And that she could escape the clutches of its death grip, even though she believed it was the glue barely holding her together.
Initially, she was afraid of sobriety. (Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. Or something.) Eventually, she found a 12-step program for each of her demons. Today, she is clean and sober and slim, but she doesn't believe she's cured.
To her, there's no miracle cure for a chronic condition that must be monitored daily.
"Elizabeth" suggests your New Year's resolution could be to call any of the following if you know anyone needing help: Alcoholics Anonymous: (412) 471-7472; Narcotics Anonymous: (412) 391-5247; Overeaters Anonymous: (412) 765-3004.
You could make it a happy New Year for someone.
