Girl worries: I'm only attracted to skinny guys
Hey, Cherie!
Do you think skinny is hot⢠I do. I am a 15-year-old girl, and I have only ever been attracted to skinny guys -- almost the skinnier, the better. You might think that I am either very skinny or very chubby, but I am really just an average size and shape.
Is this normal?
It started early for me. I remember this guy in middle school who was very tall and very thin, and even though he was not very good-looking, I thought he was the best-looking boy in the whole school, if that makes any sense. This was a pretty big school, too. My best friend, Kaitlin, thought I was crazy for liking him, but it was like I didn't have a choice. I thought he was hotter than any of the football players, or the swimmers or the buff boys.
What worries me is that I am cutting myself off from other guys. At least that's what my mother told me. I am also worried that I am only looking at a guy's looks instead of what's in a guy.
Is this normal⢠Do you know anyone else like this?
-- Stuck on Skinny
Hey, Stuck!
Human attraction is a very strange thing. As my grandmother used to say, "Cherie, darling, there's a lid for every pot." Some people have wider ranges of the people to whom they are physically attracted. Tall, short, thin, chubby, blond, darker skin, lighter skin, curly hair, big feet, little feet. ... These folks are equal-opportunity attractants (as opposed to attractors). However, there are other people who say, "I'm into buff guys," or "I'm into nerds," or "She's my type!" and "He's my type!" Know what⢠No one's wrong or right on this one.
The important thing to remember is that attraction is just that: Attraction. It is not like, and it is definitely not, love. It is how you respond on a visceral level to a person before you ever hear them say a word. What I hope, Stuck, is that the attraction will be your starting place, not your finishing point with a boy. And guy readers⢠Same thing when it comes to girls. Thank you.
Hey, Cherie!
I have a pretty simple question. How far in advance do you think it's OK to ask a girl out⢠I'm 16, and there's this girl I want to invite to a concert in June. Tickets for the concert are supposed to go on sale in a couple of weeks, and they cost quite a bit.
I don't know if I would buy two tickets unless this girl comes with me. But we are not boyfriend and girlfriend, not even close. Is it OK for me to ask her now in January?
-- Concert Prepping
Hey, Concert!
Here's my advice: Buy the tickets, but don't ask her just yet. I don't know, but I have a gut feeling that you'll have a better shot if you ask her in April. That will give you a chance to get to know her better, and June is so far away that she could just say no now because she honestly doesn't know what she'll be doing in June. As for the extra ducat, you can always sell it online on Craigslist or StubHub. Or even ask another girl!
Write Cherie Bennett in care of Living, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, D.L. Clark Building, 503 Martindale St., Pittsburgh, PA 15212, or e-mail tribliving@tribweb.com .