Please note that we have redesigned our site and apologize forany confusion. Please reset your bookmarks to the followingpages: Steelers | Pittsburgh Tribune-Review | Tribune-Review | Sports Thank you. -- Multimedia Editor Joe Chudicek Somebody joked that when actor Michael Keaton walked into the PNC Park interview room Monday, he was the only legitimate 'bat man' in the building. That wasn't true, because Jason Bay still plays here, but no one will accuse Keaton of failing to get his cuts. He surprised everyone -- mostly the Pirates' reps in the room, I'd guess -- by taking dead aim at team ownership. "Every once in a while, you have to write a check," Keaton said, an hour before he threw the ceremonial first pitch at the home opener. "You gotta pull the trigger. When the payroll's so low, it's just unfair. If I was George Steinbrenner, I could put together a good team, too. If you want to win, you gotta get real about it." Oh, boy. One can only imagine what Pirates CEO and managing general partner Kevin McClatchy thought when he heard about this (team spokesman Jim Trdinich issued a no comment on behalf of the team). The Pirates had taken heat for not inviting a member of the Super Bowl-champion Steelers to throw the first pitch. Instead, they curiously chose Keaton, a Coraopolis native and lifelong Pirates fan who hasn't exactly been rolling out the hits lately (though as long as "Night Shift" stays in circulation, he's good for life in my book). And this is what they got. Before he unloaded, Keaton said, "Maybe they should let me throw this pitch first, 'cause they might not like what I have to say." That perked some ears. "I fear they will take advantage of the goodwill of the people who continue to show up," Mr. Mom said. "For my money, it's disrespectful. At some point, you have to either write the check or you have to do something and not assume, 'Well, we're OK, and ultimately (the franchise) is valuable, anyway.' "Look, I'd do it, too, if I were a businessman. But, at some point, you've got to win. I think the fans have been gracious ... and maybe not vociferous enough with their displeasure. That's my opinion." His opinion might have changed in the top of the second, as boos rang through the ballpark while the Dodgers were building a 5-0 lead against Zach Duke. The scrappy Buccos lost again, 8-3, and fell to 1-7 with only 154 games left in what promises to be a 14th consecutive losing season. Meanwhile, Major League Baseball remains a league for the haves and have-mores, despite what you might hear about all the so-called parity out there. If you don't have a competitive payroll within your division, you're cooked. Exceptions are rare. Of the eight teams that had a sub-$50 million payroll last season, only one (Cleveland) had a winning record. In 2004, only one of the league's bottom 10 payrolls had a winning record. The top 10 produced six of the eight playoff teams that year and four of six division winners last season. The Pirates have pumped their payroll by about $13 million, thanks mostly to revenue-sharing. And, to be fair, they did open the checkbook to sign Jason Bay and Jack Wilson to long-term deals. But at $47.6 million, they remain one of only five teams below $50 million. Does anyone believe it'll get much higher than this• The season-ticket base is back up around 11,000. The All-Star Game's coming in July. This might be as good as it gets from an attendance standpoint, so it's only logical to assume this could be as good as it gets from a payroll standpoint. Keaton remains a die-hard, but he's not delusional. "So, is there light at the end of the tunnel?" he said, finally getting around to repeating a reporter's question. "I don't know. ... I don't know." He then surveyed the room and said, "I just totally bummed everybody out." Hey, the truth hurts.

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