Hey, Buccos, give a nod to our other talking heads
The Bob Prince talking bobblehead doll is the talk of the town.
The Wednesday night giveaway of "The Gunner," complete with three recordings of his unique sayings, attracted close to a full house to watch the pitiful Pirates. The yucco Buccos had better think of other local celebrities to honor with talking bobbleheads. Why else would baseball fans come to PNC Park?
The team's new mantra seems to have become: "Give it away, and they will come."
Bucs management probably has been preoccupied with damage control after grossly overpaid first baseman Kevin Young -- the $6-million-dollar man -- stuck his foot and cleats in his mouth to scold the fans. Is it my imagination, or is this team actually worse than some of the ones that played recently in supposedly baseball-unfriendly Three Rivers Stadiumâ¢
Though attendance has been declining, talking bobblehead dolls of celebrities could help bribe more fans to attend:
"The Leeper" -- The Stephen Leeper button-down dress shirt bobblehead doll. Its head never stops bobbing up and down as the Sports & Exhibition Authority's executive director's head does every time Mayor Tom Murphy dreams up another expensive building project. Some of his leap-of-faith sayings: "The new convention center does not have any structural damage." "The proposed parking garage WILL, TOO, spark a North Shore renaissance." And, "OK, maybe the Allegheny Institute for Public Policy was right about the new stadiums after all. Dang."
"The Hirer" - The Pete DeFazio bobblehead doll, complete with Allegheny County sheriff's uniform. The head's chin sticks out defiantly, the way DeFazio's does whenever he goes to court to challenge an order to lay off any of his employees. DeFazioisms include: "Wanna job as one of my deputies?" "How many of my employees are you related to?" and "Budget⢠What's a budget?"
"The Conniver" -- The David Siegel bobblehead doll honoring the US Airways chairman and chief executive. It comes with a wing-and-a-prayer reorganization business plan and crossed fingers -- representing both hope and deceit. The doll's head stays tucked into its shoulders most of the day until the 11th hour, when it pops up with a list of demands. Some of its catch phrases: "I promise to stay. Really!" "What will you build for me today?" and " 'Good Charlotte' is my favorite musical group."
"The Crumbler" - The Mulugetta Birru bobblehead doll honoring the Pittsburgh Urban Redevelopment Authority executive director. Accessories include a little bulldozer and partly razed house. The doll's head turns 360 degrees so it can see every square inch of land it can condemn and confiscate by using eminent domain. Catch phrases include : "Your property has little value, so you will sell it to me. Now." "One of our projects WILL, TOO, turn a profit, someday." And, "Don't stand in my way."
Talking bobblehead dolls are on the cutting edge of baseball marketing. The Pirates are free to use these suggestions or come up with other names. At the risk of showing your age, you might remember a time when the Pirates marketed their team by talking up the players and style of play, such as "Lumber and Lighting."
Now they are reduced to gimmicks, such as fireworks and bobblehead dolls.