As her traveling sideshow of a campaign barnstormed its way through Kentucky ahead of Tuesday's primary, Hillary Rodham Clinton certainly didn't fail to shock and amaze the townsfolk.
Consider this mind-bending illusion: Hillary began proclaiming that it is she -- not Barack Obama -- who leads the overall popular vote in the race for the Democratic presidential nomination.
Wow! Incredible! How in the world did she manage to do that!?!
Did West Virginia have another primary none of us heard about?
Nope. Just a little sleight of hand is all: Simply add the unsanctioned totals from Michigan and Florida, subtract a few pro-Obama caucus states, and voila!
Hillary made the truth disappear into thin air.
Sure, declaring herself the leader in the popular vote is a stretch worthy of a contortionist, but maybe Hillary figures she can get away with it because so few people are paying attention to her these days.
Some people cling to guns and religion, others to specious arguments.
Not that the popular vote even matters, ultimately. According to party rules, the Democratic nominee is determined by -- all together now -- the delegates. The magic number for delegates is 2,026, and Obama is considerably closer with just a few nominating contests to go.
But rules are merely an inconvenience for Hillary, as evidenced by her willingness to claim victory in Michigan and Florida -- even though it was decided beforehand those states wouldn't count. When Michigan and Florida ignored party rules and rescheduled their primaries for January, neither candidate campaigned in Florida, and Obama wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan. And most political scientists will tell you that not being on the ballot puts a candidate at a serious disadvantage.
No, it seems Hillary doesn't much care for all these convoluted Democratic rules.
"If we had the same rules as the Republicans," she was saying just the other day, "I'd be the nominee right now."
Yes, she was pouting.
No, she hasn't decided to take her ball and go home.
Attempts to fudge the numbers notwithstanding, the facts are these: Hillary trails in the popular vote, states won, delegates and super-delegates.
And money, too. She's also seriously hurting for cash.
Perhaps that explains why she continues to behave as though she's still in the race. Maybe the cable's been cut off and she doesn't know what the rest of us know.
The fat lady has sung.
