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Personality Test: Greg Joseph

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Rich Frollini
Greg Joseph, bass guitarist for The Clarks

Greg Joseph is The Clarks' rock, the steady bassist who never seems to get too high or too low.

Behind that calm demeanor, however, is a musician with a zest for his work. In addition to performing and writing songs with The Clarks, Joseph has released a solo album, “American Diary,” and penned jingles for commercials, including “Life is All About the Ride” for the band's Toyota ads.

Joseph's passion for music extends to education and service. As an adjunct professor at Point Park University, Downtown, he teaches a course in artist management and has conducted numerous workshops. He volunteers at WYEP-FM, serving as the chairman of the station's board of directors.

Joseph also is an excellent athlete. In high school, he was one of the premier soccer goalkeepers in Pennsylvania, earning all-state honors. An excellent golfer and an avid bicyclist, Joseph is an auto-racing and car enthusiast.

The star who would play me in the movie version of my life:

Jason Statham. He's bald and could add some pizzazz.

Childhood hero:

My dad. He once chased a kid into a freezing creek for throwing snowballs at his car ... among other amazing things.

The piece of memorabilia from my childhood I wish I still had:

Pittsburgh Pirates program from the John Candelaria no-hitter. I drew all over mine.

The superpower I wish I had in real life:

Bionic ears

Favorite app:

Weather Bug

Favorite season:

Summer

Favorite ethnic food:

Middle Eastern

I spend the most time on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or other:

Facebook or Jalopnik.com

Pick one: “Veep,” “House of Cards” or ”Scandal:”

“House of Cards”

Show I have or want to binge-watch:

“Boardwalk Empire”

My favorite cable channel:

Velocity

The Disney character most like me:

Jack Jack (from “The Incredibles”)

The dessert that matches my personality:

My homemade Christmas cookies because they are warm and homemade

My favorite TV or movie villain:

Raymond Reddington of “The Blacklist”

The first band I saw in concert:

Jean-Luc Ponty, Stanley Theatre, 1981

The best concert I've ever seen:

The Police, Ghost in the Machine tour, Civic Arena (April 9, 1982)

Movie I could watch every time it appears on cable:

“The Shawshank Redemption”

The movie that always makes me cry:

“The Shawshank Redemption”

Favorite guilty pleasure:

Spirited driving

Something I would do over if I could:

Nothing. My life has played out beyond my greatest dreams.

Pick one: Pirates, Penguins, Steelers or other:

Just one? All!

My favorite Pittsburgh athlete:

Hines Ward

Favorite lunchtime spot:

Hmmm ... Smoke or Gaucho Parrilla Argentina?

My favorite Pittsburgh pizza:

Adrian's Pizza, the Conqueror Size Greek Pizza

Pick one: Cheetos, Cheez-It or Cheerios:

White Cheddar Cheezits

The most dangerous thing I've ever done:

High-speed racetrack driving

Top thing on my bucket list:

To see every part of Europe

Best vacation ever:

Vacationing across Switzerland via scenic trains

In high school, I was:

An all-WPIAL and all-state soccer goalie at North Allegheny High School

I wish I had more time to:

Write more music

My favorite thing about Pittsburgh:

The incredibly loyal people

Three people I'd love to have dinner with:

Dad, Sting, the Pope

My quirkiest inherited trait:

Writing notes to myself

One word my mother would use to describe me:

Quiet

If I could go back, I'd tell my teenage self:

Learn about anxiety and how to deal with it.

My childhood nickname:

Chief

My first job:

Paper route

My worst job:

Painting shopping-center storefronts

The person I'm most often mistaken for:

Anthony Edwards (Dr. Green from “ER”)

I'm deathly afraid of:

Not being a musician

Favorite Pittsburgh-area landmark:

Great Allegheny Passage

My most memorable fashion mistake:

The Gallagher-esque ponytail

What you'll always find in my glove compartment:

Gift cards and Pop Tarts

If I wasn't a musician, I'd be:

A stonemason

The last book I read:

Erik Larson, “In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror and an American Family in Hitler's Berlin”

Happiness is:

A sunny day with the top down

My personal motto:

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

Overused phrase I hate most:

“No worries”

People would be surprised to know that:

I can't read a lick of music.