Things I would ask Mother Goose on Mother's Day if only she were a sports fan: (She couldn't care less and insists, for example, that football is a game “for brutes.”)
One: Is it really possible that Jackie Sherrill has been head football coach at Mississippi State University for eleven seasons⢠It seems like yesterday, he was leaving Pitt in a huff for Texas A&M, following the Panthers' big win in the Sugar Bowl which culminated the 1981 season.
Two: What would be the story of Pitt football if he had stayedâ¢
Three: Is it really true that R.C. Slocum, who followed Sherrill in College Station, has been at Texas A&M 13 years⢠(Incidentally, the Aggies play at Pitt on Sept. 7.)
Four: Is it really possible that between Sherrill's leaving these parts and the present day, that Dan Marino has had a hall-of-fame career in the NFL and is retired⢠We all knew the end would come eventually for Marino, but somehow it seemed, like legendary pitcher Satchel Paige, he would throw forever.
Five: Has the world turned as upside down as I think⢠The North Carolina Tar Heels stunk out the college basketball season, while the Carolina Hurricanes have had a surprising Stanley Cup playoff run with several sold-out houses.
Six: Why is it, Mother Goose, that land-grant schools like Pitt and Penn State get millions to build new basketball arenas, while many essential buildings on the campuses of the real state-owned institutions like Indiana (Pa.), Slippery Rock, California (Pa.), Clarion (Pa.) and Edinboro deteriorate and much-needed new facilities of all sorts do not get built.
Seven: Why is it that Pitt and Penn State get all of that money from the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and do not have to account for every penny like the state-owned schools I mentioned above?
Eight: What was manager Lloyd McClendon thinking this week when he wondered if the Pirates should store their stash of baseballs in a humidor at PNC Park like the Rockies do at Coors Field⢠What difference would it make to the poor-hitting Pirates⢠It isn't like this current edition remotely resembles "The Lumber Company" of the '70's. Adding moisture to the balls through a humidor would only serve to make the light-hitting Bucs worse.
Nine: Why is it, Mom, that so many are fascinated by the obviously-demented Mike Tyson?
Ten: Why would anyone who has heard what Tyson has to say so far, be the slightest bit interested in anything more he would have to say on any subject?
Eleven: Why do so many of my colleagues in this business confuse good journalism with giving an uncivilized convict a forum?
Twelve: Why is it that after covering Nancy Lieberman Cline's basketball career in the late 1970's and early '80's at Old Dominion University that I am not convinced that either Susie McConnell Serio or Swin Cash, as terrific as they are, are any better⢠Lieberman used to play with the guys in the gym and on the playground and tap danced a tattoo on the forehead of more than one of the guys who thought he was going to dominate her.
As the lead guard on several Lady Monarch national championship teams there was not anything that the 5-foot-10-inch Lieberman could not do. She could score off the dribble on a jump shot or a drive. She was an excellent passer and as good a rebounding guard as one could want. On defense, she was tenacious and quick. She is still THE best women's basketball player I have ever seen.
Thirteen: Why is it, Mom, that well-meaning people are, it seems, so often impractical⢠Take the preservationists who want to save Pittsburgh's Mellon Arena for example. Yes, I love history. Yes, I know the architecture of the place is unusual. But, this is not Fallingwater we are debating. This is a huge, outdated facility whose roof design is, in many respects, even more impractical than those who would save the building.
The roof cannot support the kind of weight that a truly state-of-the-art scoreboard requires, nor can it handle a lot of the technical equipment that many big-time music acts take with them on the road. That is one reason, in addition to many others, that some big names do not play the Igloo.
Fourteen: Why is it, Mother, that I despise the X Games so much⢠Why do skateboards and snowboards and stuff like that make me sick to my stomach? Why am I glad I grew up in an era of playground rubber ball with the strike zone drawn in chalk against the brick wall of the local gymnasium⢠Can it be that it was all so simple then, or am I just a cranky old manâ¢
