You've got to admire the honesty of "Shoot 'Em Up" -- it is what it says it is, and nothing else.
There's virtually no plot, laughably brief attempts at character development -- our hero, Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) likes carrots and dogs, hates everything else -- and dialogue that consists mostly of jokey one-liners muttered through gritted teeth, just before somebody gets blown away.
In a summer that includes "The Bourne Ultimatum" -- which doesn't consider plot and action to be mutually exclusive -- it's not clear why "Shoot 'Em Up" exists.
That said, "Shoot 'Em Up" is like heroin for action movie maniacs -- possibly rendering them unable to appreciate the simple pleasures of brain-splattering headshots ever again. It's pure unadulterated mayhem from beginning to end, with some of the most ridiculously inventive gunplay ever put to film.
Mr. Smith is sitting at a bus stop when he witnesses a pregnant woman stumbling by, chased by a man with a gun. After killing the man with a carrot (!), he's swarmed by an army of assassins -- while delivering the woman's baby.
She's killed. Smith escapes with the newborn, the army of would-be killers, led by the comically evil Mr. Hertz (Paul Giamatti), on his trail.
He seeks help from DQ (Monica Belluci), a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold and certain physical characteristics helpful to a newborn baby. There's a conspiracy afoot, with a gun-control senator in bed with a ruthless gun manufacturer, but it's mostly nonsense. The rest of the story is written in spattered blood and 10,000 bullet holes.
Belluci, an Italian bombshell who once seemed like the second coming of Claudia Cardinale or Sophia Loren, appears to have learned her lines phonetically, with little idea of what she's actually saying. The lumpy, fuzzy-faced Giamatti looks more like a Muppet with mange than a menacing bad guy.
Owen, though, is actually growing into a decent deadpan action antihero.
• In wide release Additional Information:
'Shoot 'Em Up'
Rated R for violence, language, sexual content 
