A 5.8-magnitude earthquake hits the nation's capital. This must be God's plan to get Washington moving again.
When the quake hit, a crowd gathered in front of the IRS building, yelling, "Fall, baby, fall."
The quake turned out to be a waste. Congress was out of town.
There was no looting because, as I say, Congress was out of town.
True fact: When the quake hit, employees at the Department of Homeland Security ran outside. They must have felt insecure.
There was no power failure at the White House. Which is open to dispute.
Mark Russell is a syndicated satirist.
