As the perspiration increases in Harrisburg, so does the vocabulary. The sweat comes from House Democrats feeling the heat from state Attorney General Tom Corbett. He has been investigating whether bonuses paid to House and Senate staffers of both parties were illegally awarded for political work. Thus far, the probe appears centered on $1.9 million in secret bonuses paid last year to Democratic staffers. The investigation has prompted the introduction of several words into the state capital vernacular: = deweese (verb) — To engage in absurdist banter or to polysyllabically advance an argument confounding common sense. Sample usage: If you can keep a straight face when you say it, maybe they won’t notice that you’re deweesing. Etymology: Began being used after House Majority Leader Bill DeWeese insisted the bonuses were paid strictly for government-related tasks — even though some employees took as much as nine months off from their government jobs last year to work on campaigns. = graci (verb) — To make a bogus claim in a desperate attempt to conceal embarrassing or incriminating information. Sample usage: Holy cow, are we ever (in a fix) if the grand jury sees these files! Let’s either graci those suckers or spread a rumor they are tainted with anthrax. Etymology: Commonly used after Robert Graci, an attorney for the House Dems, argued that blatantly political documents — seized in a raid of a House Democratic office — were subject to legislative privilege and thus immune from grand jury review. = feudale (noun) — An innate ability to recognize nonsensical horse manure. Sample usage: You’re trying to graci your way out of this mess• Dude, you better hope you don’t go before a judge with feudale. Etymology: Popular in legal circles since Commonwealth Court Senior Judge Barry Feudale rejected the legislative privilege claim. He did so after reviewing the confiscated Democratic materials and finding many were political in nature — particularly the files marked “opposition research.” = lagrotta (verb) — To betray a friend, relative, accomplice or caucus leader. Sample usage: I was sure that little weasel would keep his mouth shut, but that backstabbing (expletive) lagrottaed me! Etymology: All the rage since former Democratic state Rep. Frank LaGrotta of Lawrence County reportedly sang like a canary to authorities about the questionable activities of his former colleagues. Let’s incorporate the words into a summary of where the bonuses investigation now stands. After unsuccessfully deweesing in an attempt to make their problems go away, Democrats tried gracying to stymie the attorney general. Their efforts, though, were thwarted by a jurist’s feudale and their troubles then compounded by a former co-worker’s willingness to lagrotta them. No wonder perspiration puddles are forming on the floors in Harrisburg. A lot of people are sweating. But at least their vocabularies are improving.

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