One more chance for the GOP
I’m sorry to have to tell you this, America, but Andrew Cotto is done defending you to his European friends at dinner parties.
You brought this on yourself — as Cotto explains in his Salon.com article “My American exceptionalism fantasy is over: How these midterms sealed the deal.” Cotto is a novelist no one has heard of and also teaches creative writing at CUNY, so he’s very big.
More bad news from Salon.com: “O’Reilly is losing, and he knows it.” That’s why Republicans swept everything from U.S. senator to substitute-part-time-dog catcher. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted, Bill.
Also, Gov. Scott Walker’s victory in Wisconsin, marking the third time he’s crushed the left, should embarrass Republicans. Liberals didn’t care about Wisconsin, you idiots! As Ana Marie Cox explained on The Daily Beast, Walker was “too boring to beat.”
Are you humiliated yet, Wisconsin? Just wait, there’s more. At the Walker victory party, Cox wrote, attendees went home 30 minutes after Walker spoke and “there was still beer left.”
Cotto and Cox aren’t going to lose their contempt for you, America — you’re just going to have to live with that — but I have some commendations and assignments.
Libertarians and tea partyers, you were fantastic this election. Third-party libertarian voters didn’t cause us to lose any elections, except probably in Virginia, where Republican Ed Gillespie nearly pulled off a come-from-behind shocker. We’ll call that one an unintentional error by libertarians.
Tea partyers prevented an outright Republican win only in Louisiana, which doesn’t matter because there’s a runoff. They are now united behind Bill Cassidy. But don’t take the runoff for granted, Republicans.
Republicans better be putting everything they have into winning that Dec. 6 runoff. There’s a big difference between having 53 Senate seats and 54.
Don’t come to me in January and say, We got bored, it was cold, I forgot to vote. The Democrats aren’t bored. They want that seat.
In return for the tea party not pushing crazy candidates this election, the GOP establishment had better abandon its corporate-benefactor-pleasing ways.
People who voted Republican took the attitude of “We’re giving you one more chance.” They are not backing off. They’re looking the GOP in the eye and saying: We’re not fooling around. Amnesty is dead, right?
Republicans won by ignoring the establishment when it said, Don’t criticize amnesty! and ignoring the tea party when it said, Let’s run candidates like Christine O’Donnell!
Republicans’ sole objective for the next two years is to keep sending President Obama bills that 80 percent of Americans will support. They can pass some great legislation — and they’ll also force Democrats into votes that won’t be easy to explain to their constituents. Republicans might start by dusting off that bill requiring Congress to live under ObamaCare.
Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has played a lousy hand well and now he’ll have a majority. Even in the minority, McConnell got every single Republican to vote against ObamaCare and tricked the president into automatic spending cuts with the sequester — an amazing triumph later blown by idiots like Paul Ryan.
Do not blow this, Republicans. Andrew Cotto may be done defending America at dinner parties, but a majority of voters are giving you one more chance.
Ann Coulter is legal affairs correspondent for Human Events.