The U.S. Postal Service is about to receive a very special delivery.
President Obama boxed up David Shapira on Wednesday, put some breathing holes in a package labeled “handle with care,” and sent him to the Postal Service as a nominee to its board of governors.
If Shapira arrives undamaged (obviously no certainty, given the USPS reputation for efficacy), the resulting collision of retail cultures could be revolutionary.
Out of lunchmeat? You soon might be able to find some chipped ham at the post office, next to the packing tape and bubble wrap. Want some Doritos? You soon could have them delivered to your door, just like that latest QVC impulse purchase you'll end up giving to your elderly aunt on Christmas.
Shapira is executive chairman of O'Hara-based Giant Eagle, a company with which some of you might be acquainted. It operates more than 400 grocery stores in Pennsylvania, Ohio, West Virginia and Maryland, as well as nearly 170 GetGo convenience stores.
Giant Eagle is extremely profitable. The Postal Service is not.
The Postal Service desperately needs to reverse years of multibillion-dollar losses. Shapira's nomination comes barely two weeks after the Postal Service announced an innovative plan to help it do just that by having its workers begin to deliver groceries.
If you think that's a coincidence, you probably also believe the pretzels ending up next to the potato chips in Aisle 4 resulted from sheer happenstance.
Shapira obviously is being brought in to help transform the static environment of the Postal Service into the dynamic atmosphere of the Settlers Ridge Giant Eagle's artisan cheese shop. Excite consumers, and eventual profitability virtually is assured.
While grocery home deliveries are being tested, the best way to create consumer buzz is to incorporate successful elements of Giant Eagle's business model into Postal Service operations. Several brief examples:
• Advertise weekly specials guaranteed to increase post office foot traffic. (“THIS WEEK ONLY: Three sheets of Batman collector's item stamps for only $22.50. Smaller quantities sold at the regular per-sheet price of $9.50.”)
• Install magazine racks in post offices similar to those in Giant Eagle checkout lanes. Instead of having someone seethe when they are 15-deep in line during the lunch hour and only one postal clerk is on duty, they cheerfully can pass the long wait by keeping up with the Kardashians.
• Have ample supplies of freshly prepared sushi as well as packaging materials. There's no reason the sushi chef can't sell stamps along with shiromi.
With Shapira exerting his influence, post offices as we now know them eventually might cease to exist. A few years from now, they might resemble convenience stores, a place people visit more often to grab a prepackaged salad or sandwich than to get their passport application processed.
Giant Eagle already has its GetGos.
Don't be surprised if it ultimately adds a mail-related chain called Post-Its.
Eric Heyl is a Trib Total Media staff writer. He can be reached at 412-320-7867 or eheyl@tribweb.com.
